Professional air breather
Lisa Scott-Lee is back letting it all hang out for the readers of
Closer magazine to gawk at. She is however-many '
too far gone' months preggars, but really, anything to draw attention away from those gazelle-flaring nostrils - so huge she could lose frozen turkey's or her dignity up them.
Speaking of foxy oxygen hoggers, hog-face
Michelle Heaton was in attendence of a gay wedding last week and looked stunning. Moving on from her ex-husbands
Heat magazine cover stating '
I married a slag' back at the start of the year, Michelle makes being trashy look accidentally classy. She arrived at the glitzy z-list event with her Eurovision star 'best friend'
Katie Price, who
Holy Moly reports upstaged the two queens getting hitched by taking a piss on the dancefloor. A mystery source leaked the story.
Diva Incarnate is sad to break wind of the news that
Kerry Katona has been caught sniffing the shameful sherbet again. Caught on camera, it is pretty obvious either her beetroot-head husband Mark or obese 'social service emergency' Mother planted the device on purpose. Her advertising contract with the critically acclaimed supermarket chain Iceland has been frozen indefinately.
Okay, so OK! magazine is rather good this week: it features quotes and interviews from aspiring popstar Kerry Katona, Swedish hit and miss group BWO, fellow-Scandinavian legends Aqua and the thin woman's Beyonce, Kelly Rowland. A bizarre but marvelous menu.
Kerry can't seem to keep her nose out of trouble so if she pulls this off I for one cannot wait to wince at what goods she manages to come up with - no doubt it will be a mere premise for another season of her reality show, which can't go on if all she has got is footage of her sitting on her kitchen bunker feeling sorry for herself with a soggy fag in her chubby fingers. Something trashy and Eurovision-tastic will be remembered forever so my low expectations can only be hysterically confirmed or shabolically transcended.
Bodies Without Organs' very own cougar queen Marina Schiptjenko has the kind of appealing stiff-upper-lip glamour that is more akin to the whores in Hello magazine of whom host 'in my country mansion' style photoshoots and talk about shooting pheasant with Madonna and their top bullimia tips to look good for 40 with nothing but ice-cream and their middle finger for survival.
Kelly Rowland squeels about her single life being so much better than that shit song by Beyonce.
Finally, Aqua's Lene and the bald one respond to loosely based 'questions' related to some of their song titles, which is amusing as it's not as if 99.9% of the magazine's readers will have heard of Be A Man, and new songs Live Fast, Die Young and forthcoming single My Mamma Said. She confirms she once dated Katona's ex Brian McFaden.
