Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Cyndi Lauper - Sisters of Avalon (1997)


Now I like Sisters of Avalon a lot, it got its singer Cyndi Lauper back to the trash-bin kicking kinetic form of the Money Changes Everything video, tapped into her singer-songwriter aspirations without the uncomforateble autobiographical elements of Hat Full of Stars and cushioned the rest with trip-hop and even one song strays into Eurovision territory.


The witchy-wail of Sisters of Avalon is a near-chanting shoelessly dancing in front of an outside fire kind of ritualistic thng. A bizarre song, but I love it for the way she sings 'reverberating', a lyric she forgot when I seen her live a few years ago!


The silky bedtime lullaby Fall Into Your Dreams is the first time Mark Saunders gets to really put his stamp on things; something the guy might have something to say about in private as publicly he has kindly but tellingly explained that he found the experience of producing a Lauper LP was more than a little difficult and something he would not do again ('LOL').



Now here is a song with wide appeal: obviously Cyndi paid tribut to 'the community' (Jesus, I wish she'd stop this term - there is no gay community, 'darl') when she reeled in a claque of tragic trannies for her Hey Now remake; and on The Ballad of Cleo & Joe over-thinks this drag thing a bit, but does start releasing her inner dance diva for the first time. Anyone thinking her 2008 studio set Bring Ya To The Brink was a cynical for-the-certainkindofgays affair should look back to this song here, or perhaps even the Junior Vasquez remixes from the 12 Deadly Cyns era onwards, and reconsider writing Cyndi off this way. The song has a pounding ethnic disco vibe that would happily soundtrack the Eurovision song contest even to this day.


So You Don't Know is obviously meant to be some sort of grimmacing anthem, but it's a bit short of that and symbolises the issue overall: rich textures, but lacking the sheer melodic thrills to beem themselves into the airwaves. It's sweet to hear the Cyndi trademark organ though.


The snarling Love To Hate could be heavier-sounding, but to criticise the production is without knowing what Cyndi had been screaming at Saunders to do with it. A bit of shiny, electric voltage a la She's So Unusual would have gone a long way. Showing glimpses of something amazing, as a tiny criticism, it's just not nearly as grand as it ought to be.


Proving she's more than just a refugee from the 80s, Hot Gets A Little Cold is a Joan Osborne-esque ballad with the token Lauper fragility, drafty strings and the kind of redemptive warmth you get from clutching a hot chocolate in the winter. This would have fit in perfectly with the climate of radio females-with-guitars of the time (Sheryl, Alanis, Joan, Lisa Loeb, et all). However, Lauper isn't some priviledged phonie pretending to have problems - this is simple, effective and easily one of her most stunning songs.


The glum but gorgeous Unhook The Stars is dreamy and seductive: lacking in a tune, it doesn't half sound 'quite nice'. Self-written Searching might not be what I'm looking for, but atmospheric and ghostly echos make it slightly interchangeable with the more haunting Mother. Pop-jazz shadings of the partly spoke word Say A prayer offer a blissfully gentle deviation that no other pop diva of her kind has really tried before (Madonna's Erotica? It's perhaps a bit Secret Garden-lite). Perhaps feeling confident enough in her achievements, Brimstone & Fire suddenly flashes some humour to celebrate. Choice line is her remark about a lesbian touching Lauper's shoulder ('and I didn't even scold her').


For the most part, perhaps Lauper has simply outgrown the big shiny pop of her debut. Instead, she nibbles on mood, wails sisterhood chants, and seductively strums her most unassuming song in years. Her then-second best album!
Rating:
8/10

PVC-Gone MAD!


Italic
Okay, no PVC, but well-known fact dodgers the Daily Mail are accusing the CHER of copying that Cheryl Cole at the UK premier of Burlesque. Oh dear Lord, does this middle-England newspaper not know that CHER isn't actually a racist? Cher actually played this lace look way back in the early 90s with her UK chart-topping greatest hits package. I still remember being shouted through to the livingroom by my sister and mother, 'Gordon, it's Cher! Do you not want it for Christmas?' Um, yeah I do! Anyway, just a bit of off-the-cuff journalism here at Diva, as always, keeping it really real.



I just love ginger Cher!

Monday, 13 December 2010

Cyndi Lauper - A Night To Remember (1989)

Of all the rotten things to happen in music world, the death of Cyndi Lauper's pop queen status ranks pretty high. The impact of her She's So Unusual singles arguably paved the way for Madonna to follow, but I shall try not to 'go there' as I think some Cyndi fans concentrate far too much on this. Cyndi's mistakes were already evident on album number two: culling the pop hits for MOR ballads did her a lot of damage, but she just about got through it well enough to forge on to album number 3. However, her concession for this argument, a knee-jerking song called Hole In My Heart (All The Way To China), stalled at number 54 (whilst songwriting all the way in Russia) despite its engagingly manic scramble. Lauper was not in the country to promote it, radio weren't playing it either, and so it seems likely the decision was made for Lauper to record radio-friendly hits that weren't desperate cariacatures of her debut album. However, her third album A Night To Remember was still very much desperate with only a clutch of songs that frustratingly might have saved her ass had they have been released with vultures such as Susannah Hoffs only to eager to re-record Lauper's overlapses. Lauper singing generic big-pop would not be my favourite era, even if 20 years later her distinctive hair suddenly came into council estate fashion.

A Night To Forget: Let's get the worst of it out the way first:
I was actually going to review the 'bad' and the 'ugly' on this album but really can't as it's such a frustrating album in that respect, so shall focus on the good.



Sensual rocker I Drove All Night might have been recorded by Roy Orbinson first, but cynce Cyndi released it first it's fair to say her version is the original. Again, radio ignored it but she still managed what would be her final US top ten hit to date. In the UK she faired better on the airwaves, scoring her first UK top ten in 5 years, and this success propelled the album into the charts at number 9 (to date her only UK top 10 studio album).

Sadly overlooked as a single, the romantic ballad Unconditional Love was hunted down by The Bangles singer Susanah Hoff's who later recorded her own version (look out for a forthcomin g post on Hoffs coming soon), and expressed her rueful jealousy to writer Billy Steinberg who told her they would 'write something better' together, and that they just did with Eternal Flame. It's so strange to hear something from Lauper in that calibre - it's a hit single and would have been regardless of who sang it. This is ripe late 80s American chart topper fodder par excellence. Bittersweet pleasure I guess.

Once again, on the title track Lauper sings in a lower key than what people were used to and still sounds unmistakably Lauper, perhaps Midler-esque, but divine in her own right nonetheless. It's a bit of a joy to hear her sing this, toying with a shyness and untamed angst even within the same line. My favourite is the way she delivers "I hear your voice...haunting me" as if completely unconsious of how vampish she sounds. I wish she'd go there again. This song was in fact released as a single, with a gorgeously iconic cheap video to accompany it.



I sort of grudgingly include the Bette Midler-identified I Don't Want To Be Your Friend in this bad album's good section. It's still a rotten tomatoe, sounding like the way a crying person, who needs to blow their nose, gives an account of something in a hysterical fashion. Lauper drastically re-worked the arrangement of the song written by Diane Warren and the story goes that Warren found out the song was set to be the second single and personally put a stop to its release. It's a really devastating story, and I still don't understand - if true - why someone would do that. Sure, I have already stated what my suggestion for a single would be, but this is a big bit better than both the ghastly My First Bight Without You and the contrived mess of Heading West.

Rating:
5.5/10

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Celine Dion - These Are Special Times (1998)

Cash cow Celine Dion wouldn't be Celine Dion if she didn't fully exploit her dwindling fanbase of tragic gays and Oprah viewers and in 1998 was at the epoch of her 90s bloom when she released her very special stop-gap album Th£$£ Ar£ $p£cial Tim£$. FYW: that's not chrismas lights on her tree, nooo, that's actually dollar signs blinding you with artistic integrity and heartfelt creativity. Celine makes me feel ashamed to not be a millionaire when there are only millions of lazy Africans out there also not recording studio albums to make me feel slightly less crap about this.

In a nutshell:
It's only track one, O Holy Night, and already Celine Dion is a quivering wreck; bless, Don't Save It All For Christmas Day has more syrup than a Michelle McManus pancake; jazz-baby's have Christmases too (Blue Christmas); shiny guitar shimmers compliment the aroma of Another Christmas Day; getting her strum on on The Magic of Christmas Day (God Bless Everyone - Even The Gays), she gets political; Ave Maria is crisp, sincere and showy; Oh Come On Ye Faithful is a bit too pompous for my liking; you know what you are getting with The Christmas Song (Celine's lush settings are expensive and that's what counts); The Prayer is painted with dreamy violin strokes; Brahm's Lullaby is distinctively cute and serious about being serious; album highlight Christmas Eve is a fantastic wall-of-sound moment I shall be going back to time and time again; the tinkly title track is soft, shimmery and dewy; one of my favourites for a diva to devour, Merry Xmas (War Is Over) is stunning; R-Kelly duet I'm Your Angel was a big, big hit and surrounded by genuine Xmas songs really benefits what I had always felt was a bit of a dud; Feliz Navidad is what would happen if Gloria Estefan got drunk in the studio more often; and Les Cloches Du Hameau is a French joke I can only imagine.

Above: Giver Celine tries to remember the address for Africa.

Celine is so dramatic it's beyond po-faced. True, she could let her extensions down more often, and only the marvelous Christmas Eve truly captures the festive essense of aspirational joy and excitement, but all songs here are impeccably orchestrated and it's never chore to hear her warbly timbre set fire to itself at explosive moments and whimper with carefully studied sadness (have you seen her middle-brow furrow?). Celine won't save Africa with this album, but I bet she got a lot of nice shoes from it.

Rating:
8.5/10

Wilson Phillips - Christmas In Harmony (2010)

Above: the girls are so close these days they refuse to even look in the same direction.

Nothing brings defunct 90s girlgroups back from the brink of reality TV, liposuction dramas and tabloid-fed family fall-outs than the innocently concieved cash-in nature of a Christmas CD. For Wilson Phillips, their dramas are well-known and this season's Christmas In Harmonony is a back to basics affair. Upstaging absolutely no one, the girls what-the-hell approach generates the results they deserve - no really. These big-league belters are back ... for longer than 12 days I hope!

Their faithful rendition of I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday is enjoyable, well-chosen and even inspired some ass-slapping dance moves from Wendy Williams when the girls recently sang it live on her talk show. Clumsy bell-chiming aside, the makeshift appeal might not have been intended but this is one of the few Christmas songs you can't go wrong with.

In a nutshell:
Equally thrift-store, Little Drummer Boy is better and actually justifies their claim of the album's concept; the upbeat Warm Lovin' Christmastime plugs away at familiar cliches - like a gift you know you're getting, you can still appreciate the effort in wrapping it up nicely; When A Child Is Born is lovely; the insistently nagging Christmastime is adorably decent; Silent Night is given the Dolly treatment (more on her in the next few days I promise); Santa Clause Is Coming To Town is dolled-up cougar-style; Silver Bells is a bit of Spector-headache; perfunctory Sleigh Ride slightly wonky (which might add to the 'fun'); gameful irony of Joy's 'Christmas is more than a price tag' hits its target just about whether the girls are in on the joke or not, brittle piano keys tinkle on the chirpy Winter Wonderland; The Christmas Song secures yet another pleasingly purposefully-pointless rendition; and no one can accuse the girls of cynicism on Our Prayer, a gorgeous harmonic rhapsody I could literally listen to for minutes.

Below: I'm dreaming of an airbrushed Christmas.

Bringing reliably good cheer to the mix, Wilson Phillips have produced one of the better holiday albums in recent years. Yes, their overall conviction is nothing innovative, but the descerning song choice can't be scoffed at, and producerd Glen Ballard keeps their vocal icing from going stale, even if their commercial motivation is more obvious than a drunk santa in the back of a police car.

Rating:
8/10

Sister Sledge - The Essential (2010)

Disco survivors Sister Sledge are one of my favourite patrons of pop: their seminal We Are Family album was never bettered either commercially or artistically, and only a few scatterings here and there lived up to such a high standard if at all; therefore it pleases me greatly that yet another 2-disc compilation album for these gals should arrive just in time to fill the gap in the Christmas budget compilation market. Essentially just a re-release of a previous set called The Definative Groove Collection, this double-duty best of package does a solid job of showing what these girls were made of beyond the handful of Chic-helmed hits they are known for. Purchase the stormy hi-NRG thunder of He's Just A Runaway on 7digital for evidence. Sadly missing is the flashy, exhuberant palpatations on the Pointer Sisters style dance cut called Let Him Know (girl-group perfection btw). Check out my previous Sister Sledge posts for more info on their back catalogue by clicking on the relevant labels below.

The Creatures - Red Wrapping Paper



Alternative Christmas songs don't get more deadly cheerful than Siouxsie snarling Red Wrapping Paper (whilst referencing Cristina's cult post-punk pop classic Things Fall Apart) as performed by The Creatures. Not able to be held in captivity by the Anima Animus album, B-side status was assured. Atmospheric with otherworldly tinkles like earily ornate Christmas tree decorations come to life, Budgie's percussion ensure this is no fairytale whimsy. Only Siouxsie could turn gift-wrapping into an act of malice.

Ophélie Winter - Résurrection (2009)

To be or not to be? Is that a butternut squash or are you just really pleased to have sex with me? Is there a reason I love this album so much? These are questions one day I would love to explore, but until then let me have this to say. French floozy Ophélie Winter has been giving trash pop a sleazey name since the early 90s and made an 'unexpected' comeback last year with her 4th album Résurrection. No longer a chart queen, her unmodest likeability demonstrates that rare ability of a true pop princess - making very little go a long, long way.

Providing a template for her snarky aesthetic of unashamed self-belief, brassy opener Light Years tests her borderline ability to sing to the max and, with a bassline the Tamperer would be proud of, let's her V.I.P vadge do the talking (how else does one account for such STD filth as 'you picked it up from me'?).

Male 'just one more' sit-up groans contribute to the sleazy homo-erotic air of Sweat Shop's Rn'B workout. Dripping with either attitude, KY or just both, Winter's hardcore vocals challenge the definition of singer to that of 'not able to'. This will have you

Making Holly Vallance sound like a virgin, drooling cock-hungry Kidnap My Eroticism is fertilised by luxurious synth riffs, and ribbed for mutual pleasure - double-ended fun. Creamy deluxe Rn'B oozes from every orifice, Winter groans like a pro and 2009 reached its most fulfilling climax. Holly Vallance meets LoveGame. 'Do you wanna see sweat? Yeah, I'll bet'. Fluttering allure, massaging liquid-synths, questionable aftertaste, salty lyrics and unbeatably tragic.

Even girls at the gum clinic have feelings too, Seven Shade of Grey is a sadder affair, but with nudging beats and synths that swirl like a melancholic colonic. Sounding like a fucking amazing Mel B single that never was, the singer's husky auto-tuned layers officially make her sound like a black former ex-Spice Girl who can just about sing a bit.

It's not all just bump, grind and abortion clinics you know. First single Affection is a stunning Oriental ballad set to mid-tempo temperatures that Melissa Tkautz would kill for. Cold, sexual, with vocals thinner than Victoria Beckham's self-esteem, and deoderised with musky scents without a trace of dignity, Ophelie's fragility could weaken the most stubborn of hearts drunk or sober. Imagine Heidi Montag upping her game: 'if I treat you like a king would you come home with me?' sets her sights on William and Harry.

Firmly lodged in Neyo terrain, Talking Shit is tonnes more fun than taking one. The casual but tough-talking chorus heats up with more bounce than Beyonce on the treadmill, and the token black rapper wants us to 'jump on it' anyway.

Above: dental-nazi Ophélie is so bad-ass she uses her collagen and botox needles for emergency floss fixes.

With its title reminding me of a killer hook from a Therese single, Like A Super Star already has a lot to live down to. Jittery electro spurts frame the thorny-yet-plaintive vocals, and I'm torn between this and the Elizee version (this song has been passed around with the salt more than both singers combined!). Winter seems more game for emoting frustrated masochistic grandeur so probably tops the Dutch trash legend, by a fake nail. Okay, several fake nails.

Fingering countless different genres of trash-pop, the sexual heroine of Ophelie's slutty treacle filters through yet enother Rn'B blend of synth-pop arctic pathos: the pounding balladry of Utopia flushes her feelings like a toilet.

Junk in the trunk:
The best rain samples in a dance song since Set You Free, Back In Buizness is a stark, keyboard-programmed interlude. But why bother? Pop-juice serving Sunshine is an uncharacteristically sober-sounding love song - I like the sleazier fizzy sounds elsewhere, but there is no denying she's a tryer. Going down, Fallin' is even more atypical: bombastic, sampled strings and stuttered urban-chic cliches ('uh, yeah, c'mon', etc). I'm not falling for this crap.

The bottom line:
With the morals of an ashtray, her dramatic commitment to sincerely filthy tunes is nothing short of sophisticated pop trash perfection.

Rating:
9.5/10

Xtina-Factor: Beware of the Glare

Christina Aguilera’s trademark disdain for anything that shares oxygen with her is what can make the Beautiful singer awesome sometimes – on last night's UK weekly televised national standstill extravaganza the X-Factor, she managed to smile at finalist-contestant Rebecca-something when the poor Liverpudlian dullard was too overwhelmed to even sing, and I did notice that when they held hands there was no blood or anything (Christina has a heart of gold you see). Promoting Burlesque (UK cin!emas 17 December), Xtina belted out the soundtrack highlight Express in spectacularly trampy style. Forget her stodgy dancing inability, she exuded star power from start to finish. However, my favourite moment was not hearing host Dermot O'Leary - who had a MICROPHON! - and then storming off stage when he professionally cut her off. Deee-Vaah!

Also guesting and upstaging the riff-raff, superstar Rihanna was fucking awesome: her sizzling entrance smouldered like some camp Marlene Detrich vehicle, and her spectacular sizing up of poor, fidgety Matt was simply incredible and hilarious. Her vocals are what glues her songs together – the sound of her timbre is so distinctive and, especially live, she is gaining more and more control over it as times goes by. I had shamelessly not even heard her US number 1 What’s My Name untill tonight and will be buying the album in the morning when I go xmas shopping - so expect a review any day soon!

I couldn't resist...



Once again, Janice Dickinson wears out her welcome before she's finished, but 'naked men' make it worth it depending on how long it has been.

Saturday, 11 December 2010

Sara Love - Glamour Bitch

Ex A*Teens bopper Sara Love has a heavy cash-flow this month with her 2006 crunk-pop dance jam Glamour Bitch. Where have I been? The 'point on' rhymes are airtight with the mention of 24 inches, a rapper behind her all the way, shoplifted beats sounding off the alarm that remind me of an unfortunate instance the other day when I tried to walk out of Tesco with Nadine's album stuffed down my jeans, racist 'ching-ching chong' name-calling, and tutting street-talk sophistication that other faded rehab-bound pop stars can only dream of. Slick and glossy, with a the best 'biiiaaaatch' meows since Mya's unforgettable Whatever Bitch. As the track comes to a climax it soon becomes clear where Gaga stole her 'roma roma' chants - seriously. Just like she sings herself: get the fuck out!

Download available on request!

Thursday, 9 December 2010

Take That - Progress (2010)

Normally I would much prefer 5 middle-aged, grym-ready, stubble-merchants as opposed to 4, but Take That's reunion with Robbie Williams leaves me limper than finding lesbian porn in my hotmail inbox. However, produced by Stuart Price (Madonna, The Killers, Juliet and Gwen Stefani), their new album Progress suddenly might just warm me up to the idea.
Align Centre
First single The Flood is relaibly Take That Version 2.0 sounding, but doesn't do anything for me. Robbie never had that much to sing back in the day, but if he's back for good then I might have to stay away from sharp knives if I am to make it through this album. A siren of piano keys, bleeps and annoying vocals from Mark and Robbie, SOS is alarmingly desperate and redundant. Pensive 'freestyle' ballad Wait is a cross between Alexia Phillips and a Rude Box reject. Maybe Gary has agreed to this on purpose as a joke: Kidz, really, you're calling your song Kids? It's saving grace is that it is actually very good. Pretty Things is a fragile ballad tinged with tinkly and uplifting synths. Sadly not a No Doubt cover, Happy Now is actually a bit of a stunner: teasing out an anthemic course, I don't even hold a grudge that we have to put up with Robbie's falsetto to enjoy it. More mechanical ego-landing toilet-blockedge from Williams on Underground Machine: it's wonky chorus is going to piss me right off if I ever have to watch the weirdo jerking around on stage performing it. Mark's solo is an awkward apology to his wife for his decade-long affairs that all came out in the press earlier in the year ('I still want to sleep with you' - fuck off). Howard's phlem-beauty on Affirmation is lovely (he has a lisp incase you didn't already know), a light frosting of The Circus illumination. Finally, we get to hear some Gary - as the only decent singer amongst them this is shocking not have more of him. Shame it sucks.

Electro-pop's answer to Barry mannilow, Robbie Williams is back and with his limited gifts tempting the fat pub singer to overdramatize, there was a reason I didn't like Rudebox the first time around. Despite the better songs, his wanting to be some sort of tortured Neil Diamond he somehow comes across as a real made-in-Stoke-on-Trent dick. There are some flourishes of the Version 2.0 elegance to make it worth it (I forgot to mention Jason's sorrowful Flowerbed, a hidden track with a nice ambience to it - the hook is a deadringer for Sinead O'Connor's 'I know your answer already' therefore is gorgeous), but this one overall isn't really for me.

Rating:
7/10

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Christina & Cher - Burlesque OST (2010)


I might have been one of the few who found a lot to enjoy in Christina's genre-gauntlet album Bionic, but even I find it a cause for some celebration that what stands as a makeshift stop-gap solo album is a return to the kind of cohesive projects that artists are commercially thriving on these days: singers need to stick to an image and/or aesthetic and be prepared to work their asses off to sell it. A fan of metaphors to explain her 'superwoman' role as a singer, mom, woman, working woman, and working woman who is also a mom, Christina just bought too many hats you see. Cher knows better; she wears wigs instead. The presence of the Oscar winning icon takes some of the weight of Christina's admittedly swelling shoulders and helps the focus stay on its origin as a soundtrack and not in fact another chance for the Genie singer to flop.

Her fog-horn take on Something's Got A Hold On Me is deaf-defying in the best and worst possible ways. Fans of the extended whoa-ness Aguilera has been know to favour - or as she might say faaa-a-a-avou-whooa-r, ha -are in for a treat.

We move into Cher world next for the female Elvis's Welcome To Burlesque, a perfunctory verion of the Pussycat Doll's Sway. Cher emotes crazy masculine innuendos and expressive androgyny, her gravy-gargling delivery could excell singing the phonebook and this comes close to proving it. Sung like a pro. Candyman part two, Tough Lover is another bulldozer vocal from Xtina.

Doing her best Madeline 'I See Me' Ashton impersonation (the opening-and-only-song from the film Death Becomes Her), But I Am A Good Girl is a swanky number that namedrops and flirts with everything but a memorable tune. Most impotent of all, A Guy What Takes His Time is a meddling Back To Basics style number - no one gets finished off on this one.

The first show-stopper, Express is a shamelessly indulgent hybrid of snapping, horns and fizzing synths. Christina's hissing cheerleader taunts are some of her highest peaks of an entire career: 'love, sex, ladies no regrets' is still sucking Madonna's dick, but wailing ever more it's never not obvious who she is.

Turn Back Time and a few others aside, I'm not a fan of Diane Warren, so I know what to expect with Cher's final number You Haven't Seen The Last of Me. Glum and knocked down, Cher's throaty gusto gets going warbling on a hard-to-not-feel-touched-by middle-8 and spectacularly diva-identified sentiments. Seek out the Dave Gaude remix.

Above: Whoopsie, wrong film!

One of the few things many seemed to agree about Bionic was that the highlights were the songs co-written by Sia, and Bound To You here is a reminder of how good those songs truly are. Not too dissimilar to All I Need, the lower temperatures of Christina's voice are huskier, sometimes smoother and more beautiful than her gigantic enactments of emotions that probably don't even exist.

The flashy Show Me How You Burlesque begins acapella once more, with a familiar frenzy of clicks, snaps and horns soon ensuing. Duck for cover if it's not your thang. There was a hilarious moment when Christina recently performed this on the American dance show Dancing With The Stars, when singing 'let me hear you say ... yeah-yeah-yeah-whoahh-yeah' knowing full well no one was going to be able to even try to go yeah-yeah-yeah-whoahh-yeah. Hard to believe it hasn't been until now, The Beautiful People half-samples/half-covers the Marilyn Manson classic. It's the most exciting and playful the girl has sounded since Come On Over.

A shame not to hear more of an ensemble (for example, a witty group number excluding Christina might have fitted the story and saved us from one of the weaker of her interchangebale solo songs), a relief to have Christina, sort of, functioning as a credible pop star once more, the album peaks in its second half. Cher's grandeur more than matches the vocal dynamism of her co-star, and Christina's more playful tracks (Express and The Beautiful Poeple) invigorate her questionable image once more after the commerically stale performance of Bionic.

Rating:
6.5/10

Monday, 6 December 2010

Diva's Xmas Playlist - CD4/5


01. Santa Baby - Alexia Phillips
Freestyle diva shows up Madge.
02. Like An Angel Passing Through My Room - ABBA
Elegant and creepy, from the album about being past-it and not to old for sex.
03. Fly Away - Lutricia McNeal
Getting crucial on the dancefloor, dance-dealer Trish spits out her extensions for that gloriously melancholic chorus.
04. Little Love Affair - Nadine
For the vintage 90s Mariah appeal - Nadine just about pulls of those frothing high notes.
05. A Christmas Duel - The Hives vs Cyndi Lauper
Kooky cougar Cyndi sings about her beefy minge or something. I can't remember right now.
06. Lil' Star - Kelis
Downbeat highlight from whatever album it was from.
07. Love Story - Dana International
Although I contemplated the bitter pathos of Hakol Ze Letova, less harsh is this stream-of-conscience mid-tempo trance ballad.
08. Wait - Lonnie Gordon
Usually singing songs whilst sounding like she's about to spit someone in the face (A God That Can Dance, anyone?); Lonnie's exquisite version is hushed and a thing of beauty.
09. Angel - Eurythmics
Fabulous Elvis simile I only wish was sung by Cher, the final classic to come out from them.
10. Perfect Nobody - Linda Sundblad
This is basically her Promise To Try moment. At least she's not singing about a 'faggot gay dance' this time.
11. Longing For Lullabies - Kleerup
The perfect soundtrack to longing for better presents.
12. Damn ... I Wish I Was Your Lover - Sophie B. Hawkins
A.K.A the song Nadine should have covered. Maybe.
13. Nothing Good About This Goodbye - Rachel Stevens
How this blow-up doll managed something this good I'll never know.
14. Halleluja - Jeff Buckley
Not even Burkey can ruin this song for me.
15. Love Is Holy - Kim Wilde
Starving Belinda of a sly UK top twenty, Wilde almost get her career back on track in the 90s with this.
16. The Ghost In You - Siouxsie & The Banshees
Statuesque ballad that ripples with rueful remorse.
17. Big Boys Don't Cry (Christmas Version) - Lolly
Living Legend and remnant of the commercial bubblegum-pop era.
18. Give Love On Christmas Day - Soldi HarmoniE
The 'female backstreet boys' faithful cover. Thier own Walk Away might also work.
19. Everytime I Fall (Todd Terry Radion Edit) - Gina G
Flamenco Christmas. Spruced up for radio, Terry simply adds Tempo and gives the wheels some extra grease.
20. One - Mica Paris
Before she was a size-14-and-loving-it soudbite for working mums who want to look good over 40, big old Meesh was actually a fucking amazing singer.
21. All The Way - Ladytron
Wintry ballad with vocals that could give you frostbite.

Sunday, 5 December 2010

Diva's Xmas Playlist - CD3/5

1. Gee Wiz It's Christmas - Carla Thomas
A defining voice of 60s soul.
02. Hearts - Billie Ray Martin
Eno meets Cyndi's True Colours. It's wintry and aquatic chill are comforted by Billie's expressive solace. Her emotional whisper, 'so calm down', uttered like blowing out a candle.
03. A Great Big Sled - The Killers ft. Toni Halliday
If only they made more of Toni's 'can't do that' lingering at the end. Still a great chorus.
04. Escaping - Dina Carol
90s wilderness diva Dina is poised and in full-on Disney mode.
05. Like A Prayer - Madonna
The song that came out of nowhere.
06. Hot Gets A Little Cold - Cyndi Lauper
Logs burning on the fire. lauper gets her Joan Osborne on.
07. Moments of Pleasure - Kate Bush
Cold-air piano ballad. She sings of New York, but this is Christmas making sense of a Frasier Crane style gone-wrong party.
08. (We Want) The Same Thing - Belinda Carlisle
Committed, racous, but everything is so completely united.
09. Once Upon A Time - Smashing Pumpkins
Sentimental and mulling over internal memories - heartbreaking or just gorgeous.
10. Look At Me - Sugababes
Harmonies as light as snowflakes, that weightless chorus is just divine.
11. I Love You, Always Forever - Donna Lewis
A Love ... Thy Will Be Done rip-off to die for.
12. It's Christmas Time - Alexia
Alexia gets her breath back from her usual 90s euro-boppers blasters.
13. Ave Maria - Nina Hagen
Operatic goth siren gets a bit soft and emotional.
14. Cruise Into Christmas - Jane McDonald
Just for the LOLs.
15. It's Christmas All Over The World - Sheena Easton
Her vocals at their vintage mid-80s peak. I can't help but surrender.
16. The Christinamas Song (Thuderpuss Remix) - Christina Aguilera
Bitchy teenage brat at the top of her game - she'd never get away with such a cash-in project these days, and the world weeps.
17. Thank U - Alanis Morissette
Dangling carots, misbehaving brussels and a naked woman wondering through the street.
18. If - Marcella Detroit
Apocalyptic MOR beauty. Her (actually, officially) solo Stay. Seriously.
19. Another Lonely Christmas - Prince
There's still more purple one to come in my Xmas playlist series, but here is his unequivocal holiday ballad.
20. It Can't Come Quickly Enough - Scissor Sisters
Drafty backing vocals sail this song to a haunting close.
21. All I Want For Christmas Is You - Carla Thomas
Not the Mariah thing, Thomas is pure joy.

Saturday, 4 December 2010

The Night Is So Pretty & So Young: The Return of Roxette


My first musical obsession Roxette are back next year with their new studio album Charm School due February 2011, preceded by a new single called She's Got Nothing On (But The Radio).


Roxette are one of the few bands I struggle to actually choose a favourite album from: 1991's Joryride quenches every possible thirst imaginable and represents the peak of their overproduced vigour and sheer over-the-speed-limit melodic untouchableness; 1989's Look Sharp! is almost disco and Marie's vocals have the power to heel (this is their LP with the strongest batch of album tracks); and both 1999's glossy Have A Nice Day and the fast delivery (who expected a new album after only 2 years?) of 2001's slightly more sombre Room Service got their sensibility and position just right, but neither ignored their fetish for eccentric adrenaline (Crush On You and You Make My Head Go Pop being prime examples). With anthems and tremorring power-ballads that shatter like glass, I can't wait for the promise of a return to their vintage sound - for me, their only wobbly moment was Crash! Boom! Bang! but even that had its moments (the cock-hungry Sleeping In My Car was a top ten near miss but nothing else had the same amount of fuel in the tank sadly). Anyway, perhaps expect a discogrpahy dissection over the next few weeks when I have more time beyond my studies.

Thursday, 2 December 2010

Billie Drops A Bomb

Moody and atmospheric, Billie Ray Martin has leaked a new song On Borrowed Time, borrowing very much the same fame-identified morbitity as her own Bright Lights Fading and especially Je Regrette Everything. Fantastic to hear her goul on a track that could be Massive Attack circa 1998. I can't wait for the big pop moments promised, but love the richness here. Classy, low-key and appalled. It's inspired by Andy Warhol.

You can hear the track here.