K-Lo Returns As Freakasylum

No, Heather Mills hasn't got an album coming out, neither has Jo Whiley and Madonna hasn't looked that old in years. No, it's simply the new look Kelly Llorenna, which is just as well as that's where she shoplifts her clothes from. With a voice deeper than most wells, K-Lo has teamed up with the guys from Infinity Within to purge her lungs out on a proper new album with some eccentric collaborators including some guys who have worked with late 90s nu-metal act Korn, which will be a first for our girl Kelly who is more used to the ones she has on her ankles.

Sounding very much like The Veronics's Untouched (unlike her pics), I am just relieved the old golden bird has finally flown from her Clubland Flip N' Fill sound. I wonder if new song That's What I Hate About You is a thinly spray-tanned dig at obese N-Trance twat Peter O'Toole (remember he called her 'an old slag' on the official AATW messageboard?). Not surprisingly her Myspace reveals the obvious, 'Toby Gad of Beyonce/Veronica's fame has written 'You Better Leave' for the the album'. And surprisingly, 'the Legendary Bassist Peter Hook of New Order and Joy Division has co written and played bass on 2 songs for the new album with Freak Asylum.' Holy shit, a might-not-be-shit shocker.

Kelly can now be found on popjustice trolling her own thread and addressing readers as 'Freaks' (as in her own 'monsters') - I am only disappointed that she didn't spell it with a 'z' as she is obviously not the speller I thought she wasn't.