How Could I Not: Verena - Come In My Bed (2007)

Whether you can travel or ‘accom’ has just been settled if sophisticated trash veteran Verana has anything to groan about it. Released in 2007, bubblegum trash landmark album Come In My Bed is a bold and deeply impersonal set of exhibitional sexual mission statements. Her skilled and airtight vocals barely survive a clusterfuck of bubblegum-esque Eurodance poundings, with scarcely enough time to breathe, but the singer hangs on in there like a pro, with each beat ploughing deeper than some NBA basketball players. Eurodance jams ribbed for your pleasure, this silicone sex siren blows harder for her ‘art’ than a cheerleader stuck in a corner.

See The Stars In The Sky establishes who’s lying on their back whilst taking no precaution with a taste for throbbing dance beats. Broadening her horizons on All Around The Globe, I’m sure her legs have done just that. Having a crack at subtlety, Baby Come In My Bed won’t leave anyone short-changed, especially not her regulars. The sticky ingredients chafe together with a sleazy abandon I have not enjoyed since Dannii’s Vibe On thrills.

Name checking her boobs, Big Fun is a spirited cover of the Inner City classic. Yet another free entry invitation, Join Me To My Wonderland bounces along like a near-the-end Vengaboys album track. More infectious than sex-roulette in Africa, but less offensive than finding that funny, Chico Boy is an unassuming bubblegum winner.

Let Us Dance In The Sun is probably Latin foreplay, who knew Verena’s vernacular for sordid chat up lines could be so innocent. Coming second to Girls Aloud’s similar lyric from Something Kinda Ooooh might embarrass lesser tramps, but My Toot Toot puts Out of Control to shame. Laying herself bare has never been a problem, and You Are Everything wipes her feelings off her chest. Obviously a possibility, Sex Me Up is like getting desperate when the club’s already closed and the taxi rank is shrinking by the second, Verena simply ups her strategy with a formula that is more than her headboard.

Whether it’s camp cramp or minge cringe, Verana’s classy crusade for cock is delightfully trashy, embarrassing and the very definition of acquired taste. High class trash at its cheapest, tackiest and most unconcerned - Come In My Bed is more ejaculatory than Ashley Cole shooting a Nokia mobile phone commercial.

Rating:

6