Vitamin C: That Was Then, This Is Now

I do wish Vitamin C would hurry up and make a hot-mess comeback album. I'm currently listening to her outtake Funnier Than Love and, although she was a bit old for it even at the time, she encapsulates commercial pop circa 1999 and also managed to make what pop would sound like in 2003 when it was only 2001! Not many people can do that. Unfortunately, her very aptly titled sophomore album More failed to shift enough copies and her label Elektra pulled the plug on the project. The slithery The Itch dipped at #45 in the States and #6 in Australia (get that smash, girl!). Instead of the is-what-it-is ballad As Long As You're Loving Me, I'd have considered instead: the sleek cock-regret of Sex has Come Between Us; the Missy Elliot tribute song Dangerous Grill (otherwise known as Dangerous Girl, which was a tribute to Rachel Steven's Sweet Dreams My LA Ex even before that song was actually written - 'so hardcore, I'd dial for more' bites off more than others can chew), the faithful Waitresses' cover I Know What Boys Like, the floaty She Talks About Love, the pre-Avril teenage period pains of That Was Then, This Is Now (the incredulous middle-eight is even better than the gorgeously whingey chorus), or the one that sounds a bit like a listenable Girls Aloud single that never was (the ball-busting Bloodshy & Avant produced Busted). Elsewhere, Where's The Party obviously re-calls the Madonna of the same name: it sounds nothing like it, but grinding guitars and the ridiculously kiddish sentiment are pretty irresistible. Special is a stunner: Sara Jorge would have killed to have sung this; and is my 8th example of a better song than As Long As You're Loving Me. I may have started off talking about Funnier Than Love, so let me finish myself off by returning to this little-known trigger of romantic amusement. I just love it when she purrs "answer your phone please" and, yep, there's phone noises to make her point clear. We have been hearing comeback rumours for years: she released a UK single Last Night under the V2 label, songs such as the energetic and slightly boisterous Learning To Love The Enemy and wistful contemplation of Smash It Up leaked via an unofficial myspace page, and Funnier Than Love is also thought to have came from these sessions. Unfortunately, the person who uploaded it refuses to share, which is just typical of these individuals: that's like me waving a packet of Quavers in front of a homeless person; some people have no heart...