Friday 23 November 2012

Christina Aguilera - Lotus (2012)



It has been a decade since Christina Aguilera was universally recognized as a truly viable singles act, and on Lotus her juices flow faster and thicker than I ever thought she'd go - the melodies don't just ooze out, they hurl themselves like being pushed out a moving car on the freeway. Although her red nectar has been known to drip down her legs under immense pressure to make sure people know she's better than them, Lotus is a confident display of her true colours, a blend of the best and worst Xtina at her very finest. Fertilizing her flower with the recent shit she's been through is no easy task, and when told she was barking up the wrong tree with the music lovers album Bionic, Xtina took it literally and went for the next best thing. Plants.

Lotus

From a deep dark faraway place to emotional infinity: "I sing for freedom, and for love. I look at my reflection, embrace the woman I've become. The unbreakable lotus in me I now set free." Feeding her flower with a wash of yelp echos, new world atmospherics and empowered spoken-word exotica. Not quite taking a leaf out of Enya's book, the dense growth of harmonious and sensual chants are ravishing. The breathtaking climax achieving the smuggest sense of bliss possible.
10/10

Army of Me

Marching over a thoughtless dance thump, AOM gathers a steady invasion of Max Martin's 'songs for Katy Perry' documents folder. The sleek verses are deliciously bitter, and Xtina's teeth-licking taunts camouflage the otherwise blatant intent to attack both the charts and her ex's last shred of dignity (it's hard to tell which one she's aiming for most). Although it sounds more about her voice being on the firing line than anything else, the chorus luxuriates in the force of her vocal ammunition, least we forget she can sing. "There's a thousand faces on me" articulates the suspicion that she probably never takes her make-up off, and her loaded gun is full of ha's beyond the point of parody, but perhaps she's simply all too aware how much of a retread this is. This would be my third single after Blank Page if I had my way.
10/10

Red Hot Kinda Love

Laid-back and frisky retro disco fusion with a Luscious Jackson's Nervous Breakthrough basement party vibe. A subtle pleasure for such a big singer, her diet of sizzling Latin rhythms gives the track a lightweight feel, but Xtina serves it as a palette cleanser for bigger full-throatal earthquakes coming up. Funneling house music and disco influences into a funky cocktail riddled with customized Christina ingredients.
09/10

Make The World Go Round

Exactly what I wanted from them both. Just because it doesn't go anywhere beyond 2 or 3 amazing hooks doesn't mean it's not fun and fashionable. Fashion's a lifestyle, and it's definitely a size 18 squeezed into a size 12, but it's a size 8 from me.
08/10

Fuck Your Body

Spunking her career up the walls, the orifice-ripping chorus is the most memorable of the year so far. "Ha! Alright! Say!" ejaculates something more full-bodied, bitter and delighted with herself than I ever thought possible. Fucked to a pulp, this should have been her biggest hit since the 90s. I've wrote enough about this song already. The sheer onslaught of everything about this track is phenomenal.
10/10

Let There Be Love 

Sounding like not only both Madonna's Girl Gone Wild and Get Together but also something or other by Kelly Rowland, it's the "like that/yeah/let's go" interjections that elevate the album's definitive 'faster than slow' experience into something more memorable than another louder than loud Loud knock-off. Despite being easy to dismiss as heavily bloated and generic, it erupts into a lava flow of euphoria that could only be commanded by Chrissy. However, releasing this would be worse than weed-killer. It gives me a massive smirk to listen to this when walking outside - it's such an experience being a Christina fan.
10/10

Sing For Me

Mining her vast reserves of volume, the lioness of I Am has a lot of pride, with limitless feelings about herself. The powerful shouting gives way to a litter of airy, subtle phrasingy bits at the end, which are divine calm after the shit storm of emotions. Deliberately roughing up her own song to at least try and expand the meaning to the same hugeness as her technical range, it's equal parts glorious and horrendous (the "give me your worst" currency that keeps on paying). The dashing of waltzing piano keys at the 3rd chorus (after THAT key-change) are just lovely.
10/10

Blank Page

Will she ever record a better song than this? The biggest bookmark of her career so far. I've already explained why this song is so important. This song deserves the works from her record label to ensure it becomes a hit. A new page of the American Songbook has been drafted. Is the infected world TOO UNPREPARED for this though? The soft regret of "let our hearts..." the ribbons of spiraling melody and the anguish squeezed out of it all - every second gushes with melancholy, soaring with pain or tenderly overcome, no other song has conveyed emotion on this intimate and powerful level. She completely inhabits this song.
10/10

Cease Fire

Self-governing as ever, Christina's 4 minutes of conflict resolves what took Ireland decades is nothing short of a miracle. I do hear a lot of noise, windows probably will be broken, but I don't think anything is truly set a light and there's not even an f-bomb.
08/10

Around The World

More sexual combat malarkey from Miss Easyjet herself. Getting a lot of mileage from similar production elsewhere (on this album AND in general), this could be anyone. It's rendered noteworthy only because of the Lady Marmalade d-tour as her worldwide Ag slag-a-thon is a bit of a slog. If Bionic was marred by uneveness, then Lotus is flawed only by consistency - the bombastic production is stamped all over the latter half of the album, and the marching drum motif is done better elsewhere. Flying economy, I can certainly get on board with it though. A bit too deliberately hectic and pompous, but wthout the usual fun of being horrible or inappropriate.
07/10

Circles 

The unrelatable put-downs about having more money than she can fold up (so you can shut the fuck up, etc), and near-unrepeatable lyrics (cringe-worthy not shock-worthy) will make this a hard sell, but despite so many sensitive confessions such as "why you always try to be all up in my mixture?" and "you got the smell of my success on your breath, desperate, you're a mess" they actually play second fiddle to a chorus that takes a similar shape to The Breeders' Cannonball. I'm not into the unconvincing screams and forced cackles at the end (they just don't sound spontaneous), and the final "motherfucker" isn't even Max's first 2.0.
10/10

Best of Me

The middle-8, the acoustic guitar bits, and the rare sense of quiet in the weary and sly verses are marvelous. There aren't many other songs showcasing different textures to her voice as opposed to the unrelenting guttural splatter ballads, which makes me fear that if she does go on tour she'll end up sound like Courtney Love at the end of it. "Tough as the nails" many will think are being scratched down the blackboard.
10/10

Just A Fool

The alcoholic within, the opening lyric is very Gaga, and for once she isn't drunk on her own volume. It could work for a country audience, but I don't get the F.U.S.S as a supposed standout above the full-throttle Blank Page, Light Up The Sky, Best of Me and Sing For Me. This is her Cyndi Lauper duets with The Hooters on Boys Will Be Boys moment - a really fine song, but far too middle of the road to be going forward.
09/10

Light Up The Sky

This is major, the verses rekindle the spirit of the best Stripped testifying numbers. The pathos drenched "we can be kings you and I...we light up the sky" is epic in a Rule The World kind of way. Such a special song, it's blazing.
10/10

Empty Words

Because she's not short of them. I can't resist this one either. A really strong build up, the bridges are essential, the chorus and beats DO sound cheapskate, but "the funny thing" melody flushes right through me. A good example of Christina setting a scene of hurt then usurping up into rage-fueled glee about being unbeatable and immune to people who don't agree with her. Stunning, all the while really showing off the shades of her voice well.
10/10

Shut Up

Christina pleased with her own mood as usual, she really does get a kick out herself kicking someone else's ass. If only Back To Basics sounded like this. The way she sings "ego" is so patronizing and brilliant to me, plus the way she doesn't sing the chorus is both those things too. The bleep actually works rhythmically, a rare benefit of Xtina censoring herself.
10/10

 All the ha's, grunting and other typical Xtina distinctions are fully engaged with the vague concept of going mainstream, but it's a pity she so far isn't managing to get past the commercial stumbles that occurred when it occurred to her how meaningful and artistic she really could be. Personally I love the ravaged, constant straining to soar in every single song. The sap-free first half opens up into a much more emotional landscape, but the sexual combat jollies and defiant protection of self value all belong to the same stem with production motifs and her trademark nuances holding everything together. The scandal of her vocals are well over the edge of glory: with her vocals she'll never compromise and Lotus really is unbreakable. It's her best ever album, and if you don't like it fuck you and just shut the fuck up, etc.

Thursday 22 November 2012

Cher - I Paralyze (1982)


So I have been having an intense day (musically speaking) enjoying the rush of excitement caused by Cher firing out her dance-meteorite Woman's World to an unsuspecting internet community. There have been many incarnations enjoyed by the singer, with no era being artistically fruitless. Back in the early 80s before kick-starting her first main solo comeback as an actress, rock star, mom and cougar, her musical identity for the rest of the decade was already emerging.  An that of straddles the line between Cher's glamourous 60s and 70s past and the biker rock chick mom persona is the I Paralyze album, which is gem after gem and does it without sounding contrived like a lot of the subsequent 80s stuff did. The 60s girl-group pastiche Rudy is nostalgic and glorious, Games is a broody Pointer Sisters style ballad (Slowhand meets Fire), the sleazy country club singer vibe of the title track ("honey you're as real as a dollar bill") is a song she wants to revisit, the after-hours torch ballad When The Love Is Gone is one of her best ever (there wouldn't be a dry eye in the drag club), she makes The Baby's Back On The Street Again something of an ABBA sounding prozzy anthem, the swooning Walk With Me is stunning, The Book of Love is the token comedy bender ("hey ho - the book of love" gets me every time, as does her yelling of "oh stuuuupid cuuupid set me free", they are almost worthy of Prisoner's reckless excess), and Do I Ever Cross Your Mind is so atypically soft and lovely it needs to be heard. You just can't write off any period or any decade.

For a more detailed look at this album, here is my original review from three years ago (I apologize in advance if it is unreadable - sometimes I am just lost in music and obviously in a gay frenzy to capture the enjoyment into words, or something of that nature).

Cher - A Woman's World (new song)


Turning back time to 2001 with beats as up to date as her face, Cher is back with a humongous dance track even bigger than her hair (there is barely a melody but who cares?) called A Woman's World. More of a theme tune to Cher being Cher than an actual song, the impact is nothing short of immense. Possibly leaked solely to gauge the gays online, it's not quite the genre I was expecting (there were MOR and country rumours all those years ago), but it's great to have her back. "Have a truth" is a more than fabulous line to wail on top of a thumping dance beat if ever there was one, and that husky holler has been missed.

Gala - You & Me (Tareq Rework)


A few months ago, Gala had asked me to upload a remix of her song You & Me to youtube after kindly sending it to me. I have chosen to include a montage of 4 different music videos from the same era in which it came from (Faraway, I Am The World The World Is Me, You & Me itself and Tough Love) to accommodate the extended intro and outros, with the original video itself staying the same. The song was originally recorded for her 2009 record Tough Love and always stood out to me as something of a disco ballad tinged with punk undertones, and a quiet but stirring remix had lay unreleased ever since. Until now. Gala's strident romance collides with an eloquent disco ballad groove (as reworked by Tareq). Her unforgettably striking and androgynous posturing brings the poignancy, desire and euphoric anguish to life. A song highlighted by an urge to express itself; a hybrid of sexual rejoice and political rebellion.

In other Gala news, the song Lose Yourself In Me is gearing up for a French release (the singer enjoyed two number ones in this territory in the 90s, so this is a huge step).

Christina Aguilera - Lotus (2012)



It has been a decade since Christina Aguilera was universally recognized as a truly viable singles act, and on Lotus her juices flow faster and thicker than I ever thought she'd go - the melodies don't just ooze out, they hurl themselves like being pushed out a moving car on the freeway. Although her red nectar has been known to drip down her legs under immense pressure to make sure people know she's better than them, Lotus is a confident display of her true colours, a blend of the best and worst Xtina at her very finest. Fertilizing her flower with the recent shit she's been through is no easy task, and when told she was barking up the wrong tree with the music lovers album Bionic, Xtina took it literally and went for the next best thing. Plants.

Lotus
From a deep dark faraway place to emotional infinity: "I sing for freedom, and for love. I look at my reflection, embrace the woman I've become. The unbreakable lotus in me I now set free." Feeding her flower with a wash of yelp echos, new world atmospherics and empowered spoken-word exotica. Not quite taking a leaf out of Enya's book, the dense growth of harmonious and sensual chants are ravishing. The breathtaking climax achieving the smuggest sense of bliss possible.
10/10

Army of Me
Marching over a thoughtless dance thump, AOM gathers a steady invasion of Max Martin's 'songs for Katy Perry' documents folder. The sleek verses are deliciously bitter, and Xtina's teeth-licking taunts camouflage the otherwise blatant intent to attack both the charts and her ex's last shred of dignity (it's hard to tell which one she's aiming for most). Although it sounds more about her voice being on the firing line than anything else, the chorus luxuriates in the force of her vocal ammunition, least we forget she can sing. "There's a thousand faces on me" articulates the suspicion that she probably never takes her make-up off, and her loaded gun is full of ha's beyond the point of parody, but perhaps she's simply all too aware how much of a retread this is. This would be my third single after Blank Page if I had my way.
10/10

Red Hot Kinda Love

Laid-back and frisky retro disco fusion with a Luscious Jackson's Nervous Breakthrough basement party vibe. A subtle pleasure for such a big singer, her diet of sizzling Latin rhythms gives the track a lightweight feel, but Xtina serves it as a palette cleanser for bigger full-throatal earthquakes coming up. Funneling house music and disco influences into a funky cocktail riddled with customized Christina ingredients.
09/10

Make The World Go Round

Exactly what I wanted from them both. Just because it doesn't go anywhere beyond 2 or 3 amazing hooks doesn't mean it's not fun and fashionable. Fashion's a lifestyle, and it's definitely a size 18 squeezed into a size 12, but it's a size 8 from me.
08/10

Fuck Your Body

Spunking her career up the walls, the orifice-ripping chorus is the most memorable of the year so far. "Ha! Alright! Say!" ejaculates something more full-bodied, bitter and delighted with herself than I ever thought possible. Fucked to a pulp, this should have been her biggest hit since the 90s. I've wrote enough about this song already. The sheer onslaught of everything about this track is phenomenal.
10/10

Let There Be Love 

Sounding like not only both Madonna's Girl Gone Wild and Get Together but also something or other by Kelly Rowland, it's the "like that/yeah/let's go" interjections that elevate the album's definitive 'faster than slow' experience into something more memorable than another louder than loud Loud knock-off. Despite being easy to dismiss as heavily bloated and generic, it erupts into a lava flow of euphoria that could only be commanded by Chrissy. However, releasing this would be worse than weed-killer. It gives me a massive smirk to listen to this when walking outside - it's such an experience being a Christina fan.
10/10

Sing For Me

Mining her vast reserves of volume, the lioness of I Am has a lot of pride, with limitless feelings about herself. The powerful shouting gives way to a litter of airy, subtle phrasingy bits at the end, which are divine calm after the shit storm of emotions. Deliberately roughing up her own song to at least try and expand the meaning to the same hugeness as her technical range, it's equal parts glorious and horrendous (the "give me your worst" currency that keeps on paying). The dashing of waltzing piano keys at the 3rd chorus (after THAT key-change) are just lovely.
10/10

Blank Page

Will she ever record a better song than this? The biggest bookmark of her career so far. I've already explained why this song is so important. This song deserves the works from her record label to ensure it becomes a hit. A new page of the American Songbook has been drafted. Is the infected world TOO UNPREPARED for this though? The soft regret of "let our hearts..." the ribbons of spiraling melody and the anguish squeezed out of it all - every second gushes with melancholy, soaring with pain or tenderly overcome, no other song has conveyed emotion on this intimate and powerful level. She completely inhabits this song.
10/10

Cease Fire

Self-governing as ever, Christina's 4 minutes of conflict resolves what took Ireland decades is nothing short of a miracle. I do hear a lot of noise, windows probably will be broken, but I don't think anything is truly set a light and there's not even an f-bomb.
08/10

Around The World

More sexual combat malarkey from Miss Easyjet herself. Getting a lot of mileage from similar production elsewhere (on this album AND in general), this could be anyone. It's rendered noteworthy only because of the Lady Marmalade d-tour as her worldwide Ag slag-a-thon is a bit of a slog. If Bionic was marred by uneveness, then Lotus is flawed only by consistency - the bombastic production is stamped all over the latter half of the album, and the marching drum motif is done better elsewhere. Flying economy, I can certainly get on board with it though. A bit too deliberately hectic and pompous, but wthout the usual fun of being horrible or inappropriate.
07/10

Circles 

The unrelatable put-downs about having more money than she can fold up (so you can shut the fuck up, etc), and near-unrepeatable lyrics (cringe-worthy not shock-worthy) will make this a hard sell, but despite so many sensitive confessions such as "why you always try to be all up in my mixture?" and "you got the smell of my success on your breath, desperate, you're a mess" they actually play second fiddle to a chorus that takes a similar shape to The Breeders' Cannonball. I'm not into the unconvincing screams and forced cackles at the end (they just don't sound spontaneous), and the final "motherfucker" isn't even Max's first 2.0.
10/10

Best of Me

The middle-8, the acoustic guitar bits, and the rare sense of quiet in the weary and sly verses are marvelous. There aren't many other songs showcasing different textures to her voice as opposed to the unrelenting guttural splatter ballads, which makes me fear that if she does go on tour she'll end up sound like Courtney Love at the end of it. "Tough as the nails" many will think are being scratched down the blackboard.
10/10

Just A Fool

The alcoholic within, the opening lyric is very Gaga, and for once she isn't drunk on her own volume. It could work for a country audience, but I don't get the F.U.S.S as a supposed standout above the full-throttle Blank Page, Light Up The Sky, Best of Me and Sing For Me. This is her Cyndi Lauper duets with The Hooters on Boys Will Be Boys moment - a really fine song, but far too middle of the road to be going forward.
09/10

Light Up The Sky

This is major, the verses rekindle the spirit of the best Stripped testifying numbers. The pathos drenched "we can be kings you and I...we light up the sky" is epic in a Rule The World kind of way. Such a special song, it's blazing.
10/10

Empty Words

Because she's not short of them. I can't resist this one either. A really strong build up, the bridges are essential, the chorus and beats DO sound cheapskate, but "the funny thing" melody flushes right through me. A good example of Christina setting a scene of hurt then usurping up into rage-fueled glee about being unbeatable and immune to people who don't agree with her. Stunning, all the while really showing off the shades of her voice well.
10/10

Shut Up

Christina pleased with her own mood as usual, she really does get a kick out herself kicking someone else's ass. If only Back To Basics sounded like this. The way she sings "ego" is so patronizing and brilliant to me, plus the way she doesn't sing the chorus is both those things too. The bleep actually works rhythmically, a rare benefit of Xtina censoring herself.
10/10

 All the ha's, grunting and other typical Xtina distinctions are fully engaged with the vague concept of going mainstream, but it's a pity she so far isn't managing to get past the commercial stumbles that occurred when it occurred to her how meaningful and artistic she really could be. Personally I love the ravaged, constant straining to soar in every single song. The sap-free first half opens up into a much more emotional landscape, but the sexual combat jollies and defiant protection of self value all belong to the same stem with production motifs and her trademark nuances holding everything together. The scandal of her vocals are well over the edge of glory: with her vocals she'll never compromise and Lotus really is unbreakable. It's her best ever album, and if you don't like it fuck you and just shut the fuck up, etc.

Lulu - Independence (1993)


Yes, if you cut this woman haggis and runny flora would spill out. Yes, she's more disingenuous than Mariah sharing a camera frame with another female. Yes, she is Lulu. As immortalized by Eddie in Ab Fab, Independence was the best thing she had done in years. The soulful rasp pledges various concerns about the risks of love in a patriarchal society. Lulu wants to have her cake and eat it, and throws up a mixture of piano-splattered house music. Quickly retreating into mid-tempo grooves that play it safe with a mild Rn'B flavour, There Has Got To Be A Way is riddled with cliches ("ain't no doubt about it, I can't live without it" asserts the HRT cock-hungry agenda from the start). Restless Moods and I'm Back For More are more of the same (the latter with added Bobby Womack). Her lovely version of the 1981 hit How About Us by Champaign is a crystal clear stand out. Seeking a younger and more contemporary companion to her new dance stride, Until I Get Over You cuts loose in the style of a fun and thrifty 53 year old cutting loose on a meddling mid-tempo riff. Reviving her 60s energy, Let Me Wake Up In Your Arms is a highly pleasant Chain Reaction style number with a nimble vocal delivery building up to a light and airy chorus that actually lowers cholesterol (not surprisingly it was written by the Bee Gees).  Spreading my attention wider and thinner than her favourite employer, You Left Me Lonely leaves me bored and Lulu's clearly skimming the personals in the Herald & Post again (looking for: nondescript, plodding, safe and something that ill go nowhere fast).  Rhythm of Romance is a slow dance to emotions less convincing than a birthday card without a twenty sellotaped inside.  I'm Walking Away kick-starts my attention again with something Lisa Stansfield might toss off near the end of one of her own albums, but is more of a limp to the finish line. A Place To Fall is sadly not an admission that she's a human mattress  and the closer is simply Let Me Wake Up In Your Arms (Romantic Reprise).

Rating:
7/10