Thursday, 29 November 2007

Shola Snorts the Shameful Sherbet

The tirelessly exciting term "British soul diva" can sometimes mean literally any overconfident fat woman with a microphone. These proud ladies are vulnerable to all sorts of problems, "issues" and addictions. Ex-druggy Miss Shola Ama is fat as it happens but her thin-yet-husky tones are free of such chaffing neck-snapping insincerity, adding a surprisingly vampish layer, and are smoother than Dannii Minogue's forehead reacting to her chart positions or Colin Farrell's knob. Speaking of "breakfast, lunch and dinner" remarks made by an Irish actor whilst eating out some lucky slag, shortly before Shola started snorting the shameful sherbet, she released one of the finest cover versions from any fuller-figured UK soul diva in the month of February 1998 with Noel Coward's enduring classic Someday I'll Snort You. In a striking video clip that could only fit the top size of her body, Shola thoughtlessly ripped off BraveKylie's brave idea to pay tribute to Rita Hayworth's lurid "hall of mirrors" scene from her 1948 film noir The Lady From Shanghai almost a whole decade before Kylie could get around to it herself after surviving cancer. With so many mirrors, rather than wishing herself thin Sho was probably innocently looking for a clean surface to hoover up her stash. Her stunning "clean" vocal conveys tender tragic beauty that puts the Daily Express newspaper's Madeline coverage to utter shame. Her UK urban "oh yeah" ad libs are contrite and foolish, but, as in all the best torch songs, the orchestral backing sweeps one up into enjoyable feelings of half-hearted fantasy attention-seeking "what if I" suicide threats that are positively life-affirming.

Someday I'll Find You

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