Kylie is not like Dannii: when she hits an all-time low she doesn't speed-dile the local lesbian strip bar like any normal 'do my chunky calves look big in these?' pop star. Realising her faux pas was being snapped by photogs, Kylie quickly covers her tracks and pretends she was only after the latest issue of The Big Issue. You just know the man found a discreet skip and had a wank about the whole thing - at least he had a sleeping bag to cover his modesty. Kylie should just go back to the back pages of Boyz magazine - isn't that how she found big Willy?