Saturday, 22 December 2007

Bruised & Rouged Club Whores

Nearing the end of my December dissection, a disco blast from the past comes from the most unlikeliest of fierce club whores. En Vogue get crucial by cranking up the camp to RuPaul levels of pant-wetting excitement on their jittery trash-tastic interpretation of Jingle Bells that knows no distinction between tragic and fabulous. Hilariously, it is the closest the girls have ever came to recording Free Your Mind Part 2. Gutsy, glitzy gusto is their winning formula here, delivering a bruised-and-rouged rousing rendition that is like being bitch-slapped by Christmas upon impact, with all the adrenaline of shoplifting for presents, or Dannii Minogue sunbathing with no top. On the whole, the remaining tracks from their internet-only Christmas album - The Gift of Christmas - cannot compete, yet this disco diversion is not a previously unexplored avenue for the MILF's of commercial Rn'B. Their underrated single Riddle spawned a Miami-style remix package that an afro-sporting Gloria Estefan would have swam all the way back to Cuba to snatch. The rampantly addictive Jingle Bells proposes a gallant Hi-NRG offering that sounds a miraculous reinvention in more senses than one.

Jingle Bells (Euro Mix)
Jingle Bells (Rock Mix)
Jingle Bells (Instrumental)

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