Monday, 29 October 2007

Kisses & Hairproducts

On her new single, Sunny D updates her dancemoves to just lying there, as her radioactive glamour septically spreads further than the gaps between her (teeth) previous 3 singles. Continuing So Under Pressure's alert theme of writhing on her back, Minogue of the D-Cup lights herself on screen like glorified bait dangling for takers. A typsy Dannii famously enjoyed my accusation that she tore the staples from Cher's tender scalp in order to steal a wig in an outrageously sincere respite, which orgasmed with the scathing sign-off "kisses and hair products."

Howev, now it appears she has only gone and nabbed one belonging to Joan Collins (after drugging husband Percy, defenceless Joanie begged Dannii to take her QVC jewellery instead before finally letting go of her now-ravaged wig). How fitting then that the video to Flick Me Like That should resemble the dingy decafence of the discoteca's featured in Ms. Collins' best flicks to date: The Bitch and The Stud. Embracing a seminiferous pounding from Jason Nevins, as well as combing out that wig, clearly takes it out of our Dannii - she has no energy left to move!

Perhaps finally putting the electro come-on of Neon Nights to rest, her marvelously rigid body language may appear to reject the tracks immensity; achieving a curious lifelessness, animation is sacrificed as she studiously soaks up the intense buzz of four gay-for-pay lesbians dyke-dancing their dirtiest until Dannii delivers her verdict as to who is sharing a cubicle with her ("I love a girl who can move" squeals Dannii here) before she finally can't take anymore and simply collapses.

I can't wait to write my reviews for the deluxe editions of Girl and Neon Nights (both released 5 November in the UK); the Xeonomania track Keep Up With The Gays that she hissed was unreleased "for a reason" has been given a kinder consideration amongst others. Dannii's most likely booked herself a drip machine to cope with such an unprecedented level of activity - the rarities set Unleashed, online-only album Club MILF and D.V.D all drop on the same day - and who can blame her?

Enjoy these remixes that capture the sumptuous attitude of a physically depleted Dannii floppeded on a sun-lounger face-first in her own vomit:

All I Wanna Do (Tiny Tim & The Mekon Dream Dub)
Heaven Can Wait (Trouser Enthusiasts Cloud 9 Mix)
Everything I Wanted (Trouser Enthusiasts Golden Delicious Mix)

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