Tuesday, 18 August 2009

News Dump: A Week in Pop!

Professional air breather Lisa Scott-Lee is back letting it all hang out for the readers of Closer magazine to gawk at. She is however-many 'too far gone' months preggars, but really, anything to draw attention away from those gazelle-flaring nostrils - so huge she could lose frozen turkey's or her dignity up them.

Speaking of foxy oxygen hoggers, hog-face Michelle Heaton was in attendence of a gay wedding last week and looked stunning. Moving on from her ex-husbands Heat magazine cover stating 'I married a slag' back at the start of the year, Michelle makes being trashy look accidentally classy. She arrived at the glitzy z-list event with her Eurovision star 'best friend' Katie Price, who Holy Moly reports upstaged the two queens getting hitched by taking a piss on the dancefloor. A mystery source leaked the story.

Diva Incarnate is sad to break wind of the news that Kerry Katona has been caught sniffing the shameful sherbet again. Caught on camera, it is pretty obvious either her beetroot-head husband Mark or obese 'social service emergency' Mother planted the device on purpose. Her advertising contract with the critically acclaimed supermarket chain Iceland has been frozen indefinately.

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