All That Jizz

Above: Dannielle Jane is at the centre of another realistic 'Daily Mirror vs The Truth' controversy.

Clearly, the Daily Mirror newspaper has misheard one of Dannii's famous sunlounger slurrings. Writing today of a planned Jazz album, they obviously were too prudish to discern Dannii's love of 'jizz' not 'jazz' - after all it is 'cauliflour forehead' Kylie who thinks she is the next 'child prostitude Eartha Kitt' not dear D.

Below: Dannii being snapped before performing a private gig promoting MAC in 2008.

The article is completely wack, and only one written to deliberately rouse a retarded chuckle from their faithfully reactionary readers, even stating that dance mad Dannii wants to throw together this concept album in time for Cheryl's - 'for a bit of a battle' indeed (I am sure limping in at number 41 is really what Dannii believes is best for what's left of her recording career).

Above: Dannii rests her D's on the table whilst masking the pain of not giving a shit about articles falsely unmasking her plans to sabotage Cole's solo career with a jazz album.

In reality, the latest news on Dannii's musical movements is that her recording with the Freemasons, called Extremes, is unfinished but one that both parties wish to return to. Highly tantalising, on the popjustice boards (spread throughout various threads) it has been whispered DJ is on the cusp of making a bold negotiation that will fire from all cylinders in the 'make or break' stakes, and also that Riva-esque songs are high on the agenda (halleluja)!