Thursday 17 September 2009

Agnes Needs A Cleansing Wipe

Above: old turtle-head face sings her love song to toilet roll and gets ready to release the 'cleansing wipe' dance remix before flushing it down the UK airwaves.

Swedish wig-on-a-turd Agnes Carlsson wipes herself clean with the UK single edit of her new single I Need You Now. Here it is after getting its radio premiere on Radio 1. Part of me is really cynical of the gunpoint Cry For You esque poise, but it also manages to salute to her previous single Release Me's gorgeous sense of elegance. The rampant calamity of On & On was originally my clasped first choice for her second British single, but this new mix is more cleansing than a buy-1-get-1-free colonic.

Below: her stodgy package of high street honet meets Divine Brown has set the standard for UK Radio edits to follow.



The gorgeous waves of trance splash majestically whilst her vocal keeps it together - stoic, brittle and then in complete agony. The sunbathing tempo and the haughty self-service lyrics make it sound like a superior Peter Rauhofer cocktail divas like Whitney, Lara Fabien or Deborah Cox would rip their weaves off to down.

1 comment:

Mariah's Tampon said...

mediocre trash and yet she thinks shes the new whitney - form a line honey, as in crack!