Lola’s Lazy Cow European Mini Tour

With K-Lo’s resurrection as bleached bombshell Lola Leethal causing shockwaves through the internet, sales in actual Shockwaves hair products have apparently went through the roof as young gays with gender issues have all shoplifted the styling range in an effort to get the Lola look. Meanwhile, the Freak Asylum siren has been avoiding the temptation of a recent Boots 2-for-1 deal on St. Tropez by flying out to Ibiza and Majorca to complete a hat-rick of promotional gigs in the space of 24 hours. K-Lo’s lack of effort is starting to worry me – could she not have fitted in a house call to the Obama’s?

Whilst we wait for more news, Diva Incarnate can exclusively reveal the names of 8, of a possible 13, album tracks:

FETISH

This is bound to be a flavorsome, just what kinks have these guys got to share with us?

YOU BETTER LEAVE - TOBY GAD WRITTEN SONG

Something tells me Lola isn’t about to get her ballad on with this one.

SOMETHING TO SAY

I really hope at least one of these tracks has the lyrics ‘laugh out loud’ as a reference to her fabulous and LOLtastic blog interviews.

YOU GOTTA LOVE ME

Dreamgirls meets Lola Leethal?

CONTAGIOUS - Peter Hook on Bass

Could Lola be about to dish the dirt on her recent Ibiza experiences with a song about STD’s? I certainly hope so.

Below: Kelly eggs on the gays at Doncaster Pride before petling a few lesbians with actual eggs who were giving her funny looks throughout her set.

THATS WHAT I HATE ABOUT YOU - Peter Hook on Bass

I love a good twisted lyric, and it’s about time we got something scornful from Kelly. With Peter Hook on bass there is almost guaranteed to be a euphoric trip tinged with pathos as with all the best New Order cuts.

WASTED

This could be my anthem of 2010 - hopefully this will a purge of all the tragic and fantastic acts we all shamefully commit whilst, yes, wasted.

UNCONSCIOUS

Part two to Wasted, much?