Gloria gabs about new album

Apart from the sex ban, I can't wait!

Royal Wedding Playlist

Over the past few minutes I have literally been inundated by famouse dance divas all emailing Diva Incarnate begging me to feature their 'traxxx' on a royal wedding playlist.

01. It Won't Work Out - Dannii Minogue
02. Please Don't Leave Me - Pink
03. When All Is Said And Done - ABBA
04. Ugly - Daphne & Celeste
05. Vanity (Who Owns The Throne) - Christina Aguilera
06. Go Away - Gloria Estefan
07. Ex-Girlfriend - No Doubt
08. Smile Like You Mean It - The Killers
09. How Could He Do This To Me - Lonnie Gordon
10. Big Mistake - Natalie Impruglia
11. Goodbye - Alexia
12. Goodbye - Kate Ryan
(Kate Ryan's publicity-shy crotch would like to wish-with-her-fish Kate and Will a very happy day!)
13. Goodbye - Spice Girls
14. Spice Up Your Wife - Spice Girls
15. Queen For A Day - Lene Nystrom
16. Fuck The Pain Away - Peaches
17. A Mistake - Fiona Apple
18. My Sweet Prince - Placebo
19. Too Late - Kylie Minogue
(lesser known pregnancy anthem from beauty-tyrant Kylie)
20. I Don't Think So - Kelis
21. Things Fall Apart - Cristina.

k d lang - The Water's Edge (live on Jools Holland)

My Fabourite song right now:

Gloria Estefan on the comeback trail

The Cuban Queen of cougar salsa-disco, Gloria Estefan, is back in the studio recording new music, with Pharrel, to be included on her first English-language pop album in almost a decade. Whilst some may regard Pharrel's recent output to have been rather stale (his work with Madonna did not please many of her fans and music buyers left Give It To Me on the shelf - I happened to think the album cut Incredible was one of the few decent offerings on the Hard Candy album), but the collaboration represents a return to her roots at the very least. Gloria, herself, is a very solid songwriter and I can't imagine her doing anymore than 2 or 3 songs with the Milkshake producer. The photo above made me 'LOL' and I can't wait to hear Estefan gear her swagger to the gay dancefloor once again - welcome back, girl!

Corona - My Song (Lai Lai)

Corona continue to slip new releases onto iTunes without me noticing until weeks later, with the release of singer Olga de Souza's 3rd single from the emphatic trance-pop album Y Generation released last year (my ecstatic review can be found here). Cleverly titled, My Song (Lai Lai) vents her 90s lipsynching frustrations as Olga finally began singing her own tunes herself. The song itself is a standout, with slinky and gently confident verses, which are highlighted by recurring backing vocals emphasizing each line that also link to the songs chorus. As a single, the package includes many trance-tastic remixes that might scare one into thinking she's been signed up by UK dance label AATW.


Above: the new single edit interrupts the sensual rhythm of the album version, but adds a dreamy disco sheen.

The italo-disco sound that Corona has always thrived in is still very much palpable, and the harder rave sounds on these new mixes are a worthy addition, but not quite on par with the stampede of slasa piano keys found on the Norman Price remix of the previous single Saturday.



I have no idea how this album has went down in Italy, which has always been Corona's most loyal market, as has South America where many a youtube clip can be found showcasing Souza's outrageous stage presence, Whitney Houston wig-ripping acapellas of I Will Always Love You (this has to be seen to be believed), and cackling radio interviews that are worth experiencing even if you don't speak Italian or Portguguese!

Kate Ryan - Love Life

The Belgian Kelly Llorenna, aka Kate Ryan, looks so pleased with herself, winking away, and for good reason - the elongated Euro-pop legend has recorded one of her best ever songs, Love Life. let's turn our attention to the music video, which at first scared the shit out of me as I thought it was granny porn, but soon realised Kate was simply looking younger than ever. Best of all, I Je t'adore how open she is to sharing with us just how big her vagina really is (at the 54 second mark she boldly gestures with both hands), and I guess she's got room for everyone. Her magic-vadge even gets a standing ovation when she comes out in the green coat and starts flashing it on the catwalk (2:39).

What a pro!

My Cyndi Lauper Playlist

If ever given the unlikely challenge to compile a 1-disc compilation album for Cyndi Lauper, this would be my playlist (note the subtle difference between selecting one's favourites as opposed to a credible and realistic, albeit hypothetical, best of track sequencing):

01. Maybe He’ll Know

02. Girls Just Want To Have Fun

03. Time After Time

04. She Bop

05. All Through The Night

06. Money Changes Everything

07. True Colours

08. I Drove All Night

09. The World Is Stone

10. Who Let In The Rain

11. Hot Gets A Little Cold

12. Shine

13. It’s Hard To Be Me

14. Water’s Edge

15. I’ll Be Your River

16. Into The Nightlife

17. Set Your Heart

18. Lay Me Down

19. Grab A Hold

20. Rain On Me

21. Same Ol’ Story

Songs I love, that are huge favourites, but don't fit the task of giving Cyndi her immaculate collection, ie, best of CD that would best give her another shot at glowing reviews and a decent chart run:

(Blue Angel tracks) Magazine Cover (glorious vocal showcase that only a singer of Cyndi's ilk could really dig deep into such a gigantic task to bring such a dreamy vocal run); I Had A Love (classic girl-group heartache); Lorraine (Cyn's signiture blubbery vulnerability is adorably crushing as ever), Anna Blue (her emotionally tormented wailing at the end is particularly lingering, liberating and haunting - it's almost impossible to listen to if you're already feeling a little blue yourself, or perhaps this is my memories of being 15 and experiencing the full-thrust of my lonely teenage angst); When U Were Mine (fizzy Prince cover, although Cristina Monet arguably has more fun with the gender-bending possibilities of a woman covering a male song, but Cyndi recorded the definative version in my opinion); twinkly True Colours era B-side Heading For The Moon (nicely arranged and a bittersweet vocal that's delivered like icing, and a huge emotional pull during the chorus); 3rd album false start Hole In My Heart (All The Way To Chine) went all the way to #54 in the Billboard Hot 100, but did at least go top 10 in Australia (a really manic vocal explosion that took a step backwards from True Colours, but was more 'Goonies' than 'Fun', although it certainly was fun - the decision to pretend it never happened kind of signalled the end in retrospect); criminally overlooked as the logical follow-up to her last big international hit single I Drove All Night, Unconditional Love attracted the attention of Susanah Hoffs who wanted to have it for The Bangles and was told by it's songwriter, Billy Steinberg, that he would write something better for her group (that song would be Eternal Flame), and Hoffs would later record an interesting version in the 90s, but Cyndi and/or her record label really passed on an incredible opportunity here, it has an 80s-ballad feminine treacle radio would not have been able to refuse, and it's not as if that album was an easy sell, so it's just mind-blowing that this ultimately remains a fan favourite when it could have been a genuine hit for her, of which there are sadly not many; smoky and mature, Cold Sky (if only Cyndi could have wrote more songs like this for A Night To Remember - it's a far cry from the contrived idiosyncracities of songs such as Dancing With A Stranger and Like A Cat); A Part Hate (a gorgeous orgasmic ripple of redemption, grimacing at bad memories - this was the issue with Hat Full of Stars, it was weighed down by autobiographical lyrics that were sometimes a bit literal and uncomforatable, but it was a brave and bold era for Lauper overall, and an important album to really hear her 'voice', etc); Sally's Pigeons (how could I have scraped this one off? It's got a milky vocal from Lauper, and it's got a pensive brilliance to it - it's very absorbing, but my playlist is to showcase Lauper more as an emphatic pop star whose moments of contemporary brilliance after her debut are rarely given props, and the singer has better pop ballads in her cannon); Dear John (an early indication of Cyn's snarly distate, which is also evident on the vitriolic, if a little scrappy (which might have been on purpose - Lauper did after all put producer Mark Saunders off working with her ever again for life) Love To Hate from Sisters of Avalon); the ska-narrational and sexually-irrational Brimstone & Fire was throwaway and, finally, Lauper in the 90s sounded carefree and careless about just enjoying her gifts without having to analyze and concentrate too much about it; the roots of Say A Prayer might be found in her spoken-word remix of the is-what-it-is single Come On Home, but we have her trademark organs, and the song is a jazz-infused gem; the very TLC-sounding This Kind of Love is sensual and Cyn's beestung vocal gives T-Boz a run for her money; sister of night, At Last was the moonlit after-hours torch ballad that really saved this project for me, intimate and completely seductive; Eventually boasted a decadent bridge that hands-down beats the actual chorus; the guey dance jibes of Echo shoots itself out like a rainbow, with Livin' Joy esque rhythms during the almost jittery verses; Got Candy (Roxy Music meets Aqua? That sounds cruel, but I actually mean it as a huge compliment, perhaps Cyndi felt it was too bubblegum and plucky, but I would have yanked Lyfe out of Bring Ya To The Brink and slotted this in track 5 instead; and finally, Still With Me, a live favourite Cyn has been teasing her fans with for years.

I just know I will have left lots of songs out, so would love to hear your thoughts!

Danniii Minogue - Welcome The Teardrops

In her most selfless decision since writing a song about Kylie having cancer (I'm going to hell for that joke - I hope my regular readers know I'm not being nasty), Dannii Minogue's often speculated about collaboration with legendary songwriter Billy Steinberg resulted in the completion of two successfully unreleased ballads, and Dannii recently gave one away to an up and coming he-she pop star currently doing the rounds on the Hollywood club scene, twitter and any blog going basically. I was intrigued to say the least. As it turns out I am loving this guy's work (see my review), and, more than anything, his cover of the Australian's umpteenth hit-that-never-was. Let's all dry our eyes and hear what I had to say about it.

The glistening guitar ballad Welcome The Teardrops is not available on the still-fresh Fairytales EP by Nomi Madness, but with any luck it will be included on a future album. The song was originally recorded by Diva favourite Dannii Minogue for the purposes of her shelved follow-up album to 2003's moderately well-recieved classic Neon Nights, and has remained unreleased until now. What is most interesting is that Nomi actually sings this song in a very Dannii way on the expressively furlon verses. However, there is no doubt that this talented singer makes the song 'his own' - the melting chorus is an instant classic (think Dannii doing Roxette-meets-Belinda-meets-Wilson Phillips), and has 'hit single' stamped all over it. Poor Dannii, yet again losing out on such a gem of a song. This is one of my favourite recordings I have heard all year, and I'll most certainly be including it in my best tracks of 2011 countdown. Co-written by someone called Billy Steinberg - I am plenty sure the guy will get his big break someday. Who knows - perhaps Nomi will wisen up and stick it on his album?

Welcome The Teardrops (Unreleased) by Diva Incarnate

Nomi Madness - Fairytales (2011)

Nomi Madness might not yet be a household name, rehab posterbitch or widespread web hot topic, but Hollywood's latest he-she electronica star is an ambitious new name to look out for. Giving me and you a taster from a forthcoming album, the newly unleashed EP Fairytales is a quick fix of glistening dance music, and available on iTunes.

A million ear orgasms in one, Red Wine Girl (David Kahne Mix) is a super-slick, swoon-inducing cocktail of glossy swirls, and airy oohs and ahhhs. The Rush (Clubbed Mix) is a taut house jam with even stickier bassline. Originally a Gina G song intended for her second (never-released) album, Tease Me (Part 2) gives the former breathe-heavy Rn'B number a decadent dance make-over. The juicy, shiny pop of Eye Candy (Virgin Version) is indeed very Like A Virgin era Madonna with its glittery aroma and faint tinges of melancholia underneath the sparkling upbeat tempo. Despite the marketing towards 'the hipster crowd', as it says in his press release, he is normal enough to not forget about writing sizeably good pop hooks to back it up -his brassy androgyny and soulful emotionalism won't settle for anything less. Whether his seizure of the Gaga/Glambert explosion is calculated is neither here nor there - there is no discounting the lush oohs and ahhs of Red Wine Girl for starters - but it shall be interesting to see if the eyeshadow shall overshadow the obvious potential here for some great pop songs. Let's hope not.

The melting guitar ballad Welcome The Teardrops is not available on this EP, but with any luck it will be included on a future album. The song was originally recorded by Diva favourite Dannii Minogue for the purposes of her shelved follow-up album to 2003's moderately well-recieved classic Neon Nights, and has remained unreleased until now. What is most interesting is that Nomi actually sings this song in a very Dannii way on the expressively furlon verses. However, there is no doubt that this talented singer makes the song 'his own' - the chorus is a classic, and has 'hit single' stamped all over it. Poor Dannii, yet again losing out on such a gem of a song. This is one of my favourite recordings I have heard all year, and I'll most certainly be including it in my best tracks of 2011 countdown. Co-written by someone called Billy Steinberg - I'm sure the guy will get his big break someday. Who knows - perhaps Nomi will wisen up and stick it on his album?

Speaking of All Around The World (Dannii's former record label).... Nomi has travelled across to globe to record his work: Melbourne, Australia, Brooklyn, Manhattan and Los Angeles. Either the guy gets bored staying in the one place for long (usually I'd make a joke about the person obviously being a tramp, but I don't know the guy yet), or just works really hard. If you met Nomi at a bus stop he'd probably start going on about his 80s influences such as Bette Midler, Boy George, George Michael, Prince and Madonna.

Unafraid of inevitable comparisons, Nomi Madness literally wears his influences on his bedazzled sleaves (see his homage to Micheal Jackson above, not to mention the name itself). The lucky bastard has worked, directly or otherwise, with some of the world's biggest 90s dance divas of all time, not to mention James Wirrick (You Make Me Feel Mighty Real - another Dannii Minogue classic, that was actually recorded first by a feminine black man called Sylvester) and Duane Morrison (Don't Call Me Baby performed by Madison Avenue). I'm a fan, I'm following him on twitter, and so should you. Adam Lambert watch out, there's a new girl in town and her name is Nomi Madness.

Oh, oh, here she comes...

The new song by the Carol Channing of magpie pop stars, a.k.a Lady Gaga, sounds more than a little like this:

She's so ahead of her time. Plus, she's down with the gays you know.

Oops ... I Can't Dance Again!

If her song Phonography was all about doing things 'hands free' (she eats from a dog bowl you know), then the dance version of her new single is all about dancing without the use of her legs - as if she wasn't showing off enough, here are some basic categories of interpretation of Britney's latest conquest against actual choreohraphy.

Check out her moves:
0:07 - corsetography
0:14 - Vogue-ography
0:22 - sidestepography
0:28 - assography
0:31 - hairography
0:32 - airbrushography
0:48 - fingerography
0:50 - jack-hammerography
1:25 - lineupofgaysography
1:50 - handcalpography
3: 49 - blotchyskinography

90s Remembrance: Kate Pierson & Iggy Pop - Candy

Kate Pierson's trailor-trash ballad Candy with Iggy Pop still gives me the chills. Her expressive, diner surface-cleanin' musings about missing her man who's fresh out the cell are gorgeous: she sounds heartbroken, just brutal, but her ballsy yelps are simply magnificent, conveying melancholia in all its raw, exposed, angry truth. Candy went on to become Iggy's one and only Billboard Hot 100 hit single, and graced the Australian top ten, reaching #9. Incredibly, Pierson has never recorded a solo record, but her incredible harmonies with Cindy Wilson as the jiving, Bee-hiving, thriving frontwomen for the B-52s secure her status as an icon of American music, on equal billing with Mr Pop himself.

Cruel Dannii Taunts Kylie's Flop Tour

In news that won't shock anyone with a discerning ear for a good pop song that isn't sung by a 40 year old impersonating a child prostitute, Kylie Minogue's Aphrodite tour isn't exactly bringing the house down. With more red patches than Michelle McManus in a bathing costume, we can see the rows of empty seats at a recent date attended by none other than the UK's favourite party jammer Dannii Minogue. We all know that BraveKylie has battled a series of flops: her X album, her Aphrodite album; her ridiculous right eyebrow; her empty womb - and now her new tour. Not one to kick a flop disco cougar when she's down under, Dannii has sent out an emergency tweet to all her fans, begging the world to put finding a cure for AIDS on hold (La Toya Jackson will be raging when she finds out!) in order to support her much older sister try and convince the world that she's still got it (crabs that is). Kylie's concerts have got so desperate in their attempts to seduce the gays with naked gay dancers that her next tour is expected to be a live gay sex show with her singing her anti-rape jams Never Too Late To Change Your Mind and Got To Be Certain. Outside in the carpark.

Here It Is: Roxette - Speak To Me (Bassflow Edit)

The Bassflow radio edit of Speak To Me is very special. Already a standout from the Roxette reunion album Charm School (review found here), I felt overall that the album sounded rushed in terms of production. Speak To Me is an uplifting ballad that plays on the band's strength: haunting verses from Per and Marie's unmistakably thorny groans that sound more expressive than ever. This new remix gives it an extra sheen that really sparkles, creating something most acts 25 years down the line almost never achieve - a career defining moment. Just, wow! Well done Roxette.

What's Britney been up to?

Ivy - In The Clear (2005)

This album has a lot going for it, but two songs in particular have struck me. Oozing out like fresh air, Ocean City Girl is one of those gentle tracks that simply float into your consciousness and leave a remarkable impression. Expressive and refined vocals take flight using fuzzy guitars, rippling piano keys and a gorgeous aura of airyness. Thinking About You is a more emphatic challenge for album highlight: strummy summer-pop par excellence, it almost has a cool, insoucient air of Saint Etienne meets Coffee/TV Blur meets jangly Supergrass undercurrent, such is its brisk and crisp harmonies colliding orgasmically with backing vocals that hit you like rays of sunlight. James Iha, former guitarist of the Smashing Pumpkins, features on guitar here as well (it might be strange to mention how similar Dominique Durand's gently soothing voice is to D'arcy Wretky's). The rest won't let you down either: the album keeps its flow going throughout.

Choice lyric -'I know that I have someone, but I can't remember who'.

Rating:
8/10

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Diva Incarnate is going bitesize! Whilst I won't be posting much on here for the next two months, Twitter has proved much harder to resist and you can catch my mostly music-orientated thoughs there, here.