Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Jennfy Frost Is So Hot

I am constantly astounded that Atomic Kitten's lubricated blonde Jenny Frost (presenter of BBC3's Snog, Marry or Avoid) never broke free of her MOR-ballad leash and leached onto the dance-pop bangdwagon she was expected to. The evidence is on the former girlgroups's album Feels So Good, which boasts a whole two Frost outbreaks of motivation, Baby Don't U Hurt Me and So Hot, which tellingly are the best things on it despite Natasha permanently hogging vocal duties. Yes, that Minoguer woman co-wrote the title track (no comment on its quality), but this is all about Jenny Frost - her cum-glazed, sleazy pop jams were all the rage. Neither of these are losers, and only her modesty really hurts anything. Her tasty voice is more flavoursome than the condoms in her hanbag she pretends to use.

After earning her art badge with such lyrics as So Hot's 'I'm yours for the night if you dare' and 'make you hotter than the one you ever tasted' Frosty clearly slams her pussy even harder than she sings. Composing herself as a fulltime hot person causes her token speciality to express her awareness of it, and one can scoff at mere honesty - just tell that to Kerry Katona. Of course, with Frost songwriting or actual music isn't really the point, but her catchy hooks prove that even her voice can't get in the way of her lusty soundtracks. She pumps her pop like giving Eurovision a colonic, and boy do these stinkers give fans of trash their fix of mediocre dance-pop and then some.
Atomic Kitten's pre-fab Never Ever's were a bit much for me, so to get sent this album as some kind of compensation for not getting a CD I ordered (or getting it late, I cannot remember) was an accident - it was not until I skipped to tracks 12 and 13 that I introduced myself to the accelerated form of a makeshift replacement member blossoming into a formidable solo star with the only thing stopping her being her chavvy girlband colleagues and the fact that she cannot sing, and for the most part doesn't. JF attacks her sporadic lines with a warm slinky burr on indubitably tuneful dance songs that speak to slightly jaded and pregnant teenagers and the gays who got bullied by them at school.

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