Sunday, 18 April 2010
Crush - Jellyhead (Motiv8 Pumphouse Edit)
Despite all sounding the same, Motiv8 remixes remain an essential component of the decade's very best dance music. Synthy, exuberant and ready to pound the shit out of you, DJ Steve Roadway's magic touch transformed such dross as the flat-chested original Jellyhead by Crush into enhanced fuck-me pumpers. To understand just how amazing Crush were, just to put it into perspective - they were even better than Vanilla. Before you jump off a cliff at the very thought, like Xeonomania before them, Roadway knows exactly how to transform a turd into the sophisticated trash-dance fantasies Mary Kiani still wets herself over whenever she remembers she once had a career. More mouthy than Cheryl Cole at a KKK meeting, this Geordie duo's pugnatious dual-delivery beats such contemporaries as Vanilla and Milan hands-and-fishnets down. This track's a classic, and they deserve it. It's got a great line: 'so what if your jeans are torn, they've been torn since Bros were cool' is the stuff of stacked teen bravado, suggesting some poor buy had better tuck his penis back in, muscling into their vocals with a brashly lubricious blind spot for diplomacy that would wound the Billboard Hot 100, reaching #72. Record buyers never looked back and sadly that was that.