In news that won't shock anyone with a discerning ear for a good pop song that isn't sung by a 40 year old impersonating a child prostitute, Kylie Minogue's Aphrodite tour isn't exactly bringing the house down. With more red patches than Michelle McManus in a bathing costume, we can see the rows of empty seats at a recent date attended by none other than the UK's favourite party jammer Dannii Minogue. We all know that BraveKylie has battled a series of flops: her X album, her Aphrodite album; her ridiculous right eyebrow; her empty womb - and now her new tour. Not one to kick a flop disco cougar when she's down under, Dannii has sent out an emergency tweet to all her fans, begging the world to put finding a cure for AIDS on hold (La Toya Jackson will be raging when she finds out!) in order to support her much older sister try and convince the world that she's still got it (crabs that is). Kylie's concerts have got so desperate in their attempts to seduce the gays with naked gay dancers that her next tour is expected to be a live gay sex show with her singing her anti-rape jams Never Too Late To Change Your Mind and Got To Be Certain. Outside in the carpark.
Showing posts with label Kylie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kylie. Show all posts
Tuesday, 12 April 2011
Cruel Dannii Taunts Kylie's Flop Tour
In news that won't shock anyone with a discerning ear for a good pop song that isn't sung by a 40 year old impersonating a child prostitute, Kylie Minogue's Aphrodite tour isn't exactly bringing the house down. With more red patches than Michelle McManus in a bathing costume, we can see the rows of empty seats at a recent date attended by none other than the UK's favourite party jammer Dannii Minogue. We all know that BraveKylie has battled a series of flops: her X album, her Aphrodite album; her ridiculous right eyebrow; her empty womb - and now her new tour. Not one to kick a flop disco cougar when she's down under, Dannii has sent out an emergency tweet to all her fans, begging the world to put finding a cure for AIDS on hold (La Toya Jackson will be raging when she finds out!) in order to support her much older sister try and convince the world that she's still got it (crabs that is). Kylie's concerts have got so desperate in their attempts to seduce the gays with naked gay dancers that her next tour is expected to be a live gay sex show with her singing her anti-rape jams Never Too Late To Change Your Mind and Got To Be Certain. Outside in the carpark.
Tuesday, 23 March 2010
Sabrina Washington - OMG
After re-inventing her persona from aloof Mac-painted glamazon from Mistique to some sort of hybrid of every airhead female reality TV contestant of all time on her incredulous-at-everything stint on ITV's I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here, Sabrina Washington puts any worries at ease with her new novelty solo single OMG (frankly I wish it were titled OMFG (LMAO), but there is always next time). In the meantime, Alesha Dixon's more talented ex-band mate has decided to pay trubute to Dannii Minogue's infamous series of roadkill artwork with the hopes of achieving number 1 dance hits or even just becoming the new Jenny Frost.
As her Get Me Out of Here appearance shows, Sabs isn't afraid to make a tit of herself, even wearing Kylie's hand me downs in the video to prove it. Despite never truly flaring up into a proper breakdown, the track is teasingly addictive in the sense that if Vanilla were goodlooking black girls with better voices they would sound only slightly more rubbish than this.
Thursday, 12 March 2009
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