Mel C - Rock Me (New European Single)

I didn't see this one coming: I mean I knew it was coming, I just didn't know I was going to like this song as much. This has just been serviced to German radio, and if cougar with a 'K' Kim Wilde can have success with much better material there, then I don't see why an overrated ex-Spice Girl shouldn't be able to trouble the iTunes top 100 there too. Featuring one of her best ever choruses, perhaps it is the post-chorus that has the best hook here of all. The verses are a tad crap, but that never stopped Geri, The Beatles, ABBA or Lolly now did it? Supposedly, this is a European-only single and the UK (who are actually European, funnily enough) are being dished dance dregs instead. I don't think Mel is quite at the level where she can divide her markets and releases - she should skim the cream from 'both' projects and give everyone the best. So whatever she is up to, good luck, but the Spice Girls will always be the sum of their parts (and it was only Geri who ever really came closest to capturing that Spice spirit and spectacle in any of her solo stuff). I shouldn't really discredit MC completlely as Never Be The Same Again was clever enough to enlist Left-Eye, I Turn To You was one of those daft Ibiza anthems of its day that fizzed its trancey sounds all over the radio, and Northern Star was certainly lovely. However, the big C herself has always frustrated me ever since with lacklustre follow-ups (after the success of Northern Star I could not fathom the slump in quality found on her dreary sophomore set). Anyway, that's my ten cents and then some.

Shakira - Gypsy

Sometimes when I comment on other people's blogs I end up writing an essay and making it all about ME, so I thought I might spare humanity and let the world know how I feel about Shakira's new single Gypsy (Sandcastle Disco Part II) right here as Brandy might plead to the jury.

If the credits rolled on Xena Warrior Princess: The Porno, then this would be playing as hordes of angry and aroused lesbians mopped up their mess. Yes, I LOVE this song. It's her Sandcastle Disco, or maybe instead of sand her disco is made of pita bread or something else ratially offensive to South American people. If I were Shakira I would be bent over and lubed up 'accidentally' never mind doing a little wiggle in front of Nadal - that's right I'd be pregnant and blaming it on Mathew Knowles (again). Speaking of trash, Beyonce would just throw a bucket of mayo over him and start feasting of course. In all seriousness, the Freemasons single edit sounds remarkably like Filter's classic 1999 strummer Take A Picture, which is due a Diva Incarnate mention very soon if I can hurry my non-hairy ass to finish a long overdue post that is coming up soon.