Friday, 2 July 2010

Katy Perry's Recipie For California Gurls


* 2 cups all-purpose silicone breasts
* 1/3 cup Britney's Trouble
* 1 teaspoon Madonna's Holiday
* 1/4 teaspoon Madonna's Get Together
* 1/2 teaspoon Kiesha's Tik Tok
* 8 tablespoons of disbelief that people are buying this
* 1/2 cup of pretending you're ironic when slagging off gays ('LOL')
* 1/2 cup sour cream
* 1 large dollop of cellulite

Below: gain quick appeal being a hateful bitch by picking on people who still don't have equal rights. Fuck longterm consequences. Just look at her here, what a fucking brat she is ('LOL').

1. Adjust rack to lower-middle position and set temperature to extremely lukewarm.
2. Stir until a medium quality will pass for something better than it actually is.
3. Grate your vocals and what is left of any indication of originality until mixture resembles classics from the past.
4. Stir until bland.
5. Sprinkle artificial sweetner on top making sure its taste is all on the surface and nowhere else.
6. Allow 3 minutes for it to all be over.
7. Spoonfeed dialogue from commediene fiance when promoting the cause.
8. Ask yourself if it was really worth it.

Below: be genuine like Katy and just suck it up even when you'd clearly wish to vomit.

Amount Per Serving Calories: 319 | Fat: 115.5g | Cholesterol: 69.9mg | Authenticity: 0

Remember bitches, bikini's on top and your dignity much lower.

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